


And Fear Creeps In

by Azar443



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11120616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azar443/pseuds/Azar443
Summary: Written for the Tumblr prompt (No.18: things you said when you were scared)





	And Fear Creeps In

_Fear is the ever present elephant in Newt and Percival’s relationship. Both because of the nature of both their jobs, and because of the countless scars left by people who’ve trod on hearts and bones and minds. And they’re less broken together, oddly shaped pieces somehow meshed together awkwardly, but still fitting. But there are still gaps where dark tendrils of doubt and fear can always slither into. There are days when they bask in the bliss of their love, and there are days when everything is wrong and hurting and each feel like children they haven’t been in a long time._

* * *

“Don’t go.”

“You’ll not come back.”

“They’ll tell me you’re gone.”

“They’ll ask me to identify your body. They’ll ask me to stare into your blank eyes and tell them if it’s you. They’ll be speaking in hushed whispers, pity in their voices. They won’t understand.”

“You’ll realize I am the most annoying person ever. And you’ll want to replace me because you’ll get tired of me and-” _his lips are covered by another’s lips that is warm and harsh and love, and any protests he might have are silenced and replaced by quiet moans of pleasure and urgent whispers as the red head is brought to the brink of pleasure by the man he loves._

* * *

“One day I’ll come home and you’re be gone. Because you’ll realize I’m not good enough. That I’m broken beyond repair.”

“One day I’ll see you kissing someone else and laugh at their jokes and tell them you love them. Because they’re not me.”

“You don’t understand. Just leave me be. _Leave!” I’m weak. I’m not supposed to be weak. But I am and you’re beautiful and whole and too good for me and I can’t let the darkness touch you too._

“I want you to leave.” _Because he’s broken me and I don’t know who I am and I can’t be the man you want but please don’t go. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t make me reach out for you and feel nothing._

“What do you want me to do?” _His hand trembles, his breath stutters and his eyes are bright but he reaches out for a hand he knows better than his own, touches the scars and veins and calloused fingers that have been all over him, and he’s over the edge and clutching and sobbing with Newt murmuring soothingly and enclasping him in a safe embrace_. “Just hold me.”

* * *

“Why do you love me?” There’s a pause, and Percival stares at his partner from the mirror. He says it again, and Percival wants him to stop. “Why do you love me? You could do so much better than me and yet…” Newt trails off, and starts wondering if the only thing Percy feels for him is pity. His gaze is trained on the granite floor of their shared bathroom, and every doubt and insecurity he’s ever had assaults his thoughts. _“Weak. Failure. Black sheep of the family. You’re a shame to us all. You’re not good enough. Why can’t you try harder? Why can’t you be more like your brother? You’re just a man pretending to be someone. You’re no one. He doesn’t really love you. You’re just a mediocre fuck that he keeps just because he can’t find anyone better. You’re a terrible wizard.”_ There’s a slender finger under his chin, and he’s gazing into eyes that hold no pity nor discontentment nor irritation. There’s only love. There’s a kiss, and another one. And another. And more still come as Percival forces him to understand that he loves Newt not for his prowess in magic, or for the Scamander name, or out of pity. He whispers words of love in between kisses. Love for his long limbs that always hang awkwardly by him because he never knows what to do with them. Love for his freckles that dance in joy or droop in sadness. Love for his bright eyes that light up each time he sees Percival or hi s beloved creatures. Love for his quiet mumble. Love for his lack of grace. Love for his shyness that disappears when they experiment in the bedroom. Love for his love and acceptance for Percival. Love for everything about him that’s perfect and everything that’s not. And when they finally break apart, breaths heavy but eyes alive with love, they’re both smiling. And any and all fears that they both have are gone for today. Tomorrow, Percival will fear his nightmares and failures and coming home to an empty apartment and spiders, and Newt will fear Percival never coming home and the weight of his family name and paper cuts, but they’re both ok today, and Newt tugs on Percival’s hand into their bedroom, grinning with tousled hair and swollen lips, and as long as they have each other, fear will never break them.

Tags: [percival graves](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/percival-graves) [newt scamander](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/newt-scamander) [gramander](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/gramander) [percival graves x newt scamander](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/percival-graves-x-newt-scamander)[reader request](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/reader-request) [mini fic](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/mini-fic) [fantastic beasts and where to find them](http://headsindreams.tumblr.com/tagged/fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them)


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